we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
