Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
