And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
