I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
