Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
