Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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