you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
