Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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