Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
