i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
