So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
