I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
