i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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