yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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