Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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