ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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