OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
