i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
