I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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