Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
