i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
