U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
