YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
