Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
