me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
ttyl tear gas
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
