we have officially lost it.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
