I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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