Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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