She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
