Ambien. No doubt about it.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
