it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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