i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Randomize
