I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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