i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
