nut hugger
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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