Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
