You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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