69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I enjoy the company of your penis
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
