Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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