Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
