After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
