So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
And then my night got REAL pukey
I have so many feelings about this burrito
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
