I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
