There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
