I just threw up on my dentist
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
