well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
