We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
