The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
