sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
