dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
